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Actions and Words

I have a bit of a tick about honesty. I'm certainly not proclaiming that I've never told a lie

because we have all told a lie of some sort; however, I speak very honestly for the most part. There are times this causes me problems, and I lose friends, but I still choose to tell the truth when I'm asked a question. Many times I have been asked why I am so brutally honest. Let me explain why I feel my "brutal honesty" is so much a part of who I am.

For me, it comes down to being fair. I don't hide emotions or play games because, in my opinion, it's simply unfair. If I say it, I mean it, and I show it with my actions. Do I sometimes miss the mark? Of course I do, and when I do, I admit it and apologize. Yes, I am perfect, but my many imperfections make me perfect. That I am so humble and modest all contribute to my perfection. Ahem, I digress, back to the blog.

I assume that I'm being asked for the truth when asked for advice or a suggestion. I try not to offer advice but to share how I would deal with a situation. My way may not be correct; it will be the right way for me. Conversely, it could also be the right way for someone else. My goal is never to harm but to always be of help and support.

Typically, I'm honest with myself even when I would rather tell myself a lie. If I'm going to be brutally honest, I include myself in that philosophy. I can end my day knowing I've acted according to my code of integrity. Let me stress that I'm not perfect, and I make my fair share of mistakes, but my actions and words are in sync. When I find myself saying one thing and acting differently, I take a minute and figure out why I've strayed from my usual pattern.

When I see someone talking one way and acting another, I immediately become suspicious. Actions and words should usually be identical twins with the following exceptions: Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, surprise parties, and the like. Those are perfectly acceptable reasons to speak one way and act differently. I would have no reason to snoop if folks were truthful about those awesome surprises.

In the end, lying is a self-serving act, and aside from the exceptions I noted above, if actions and words conflict, it usually means a lie. Likewise, if someone is manipulating a situation, it is always a self-serving act that is rarely good for you.

Perhaps this is why I don't trust politicians (on either side of the aisle) because lies and manipulation seem to be typical of those in that profession—working for their career and power conflicts with "serving the public" and its greater good.

Honesty has value, even when it's not what you want to hear. I would rather have a few hours of annoyance when I've been told the truth, even when it's not what I want to hear, rather than a soft-sell lie to avoid an argument. Would you rather have a "yes person" telling you what you want to hear or a true friend who puts your best interests first?

I know who I want around me, the annoying pest who tells me the truth and demonstrates their love and care by their actions.

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