Despite the rumors flying around that aliens abducted me, I am still here on planet Earth. I have been remiss writing my blog, and though it's not a good excuse, I was felled by illness. Struck down in my prime, writhing in agony as I bravely fought my way back to health, ahem, I had a bacterial infection. Perhaps I was a bit melodramatic, but I always like to poke a little fun at myself after I've been ill.
I'm a terrible sick person, absolutely awful. I'm grouchy, downright cranky, to be honest, and blame the entire world for my illness. I want to be left alone, except to have folks feel sorry for me. Let me clarify; I want folks to quietly feel sorry for me while leaving me the hell alone. You see, just a wretched sick person. There is one positive, and that is that I am self-aware enough to know how awful I am when I'm ill; hence, I hibernate and save all of those I care for from my wretchedness.
This was the first time I've been ill since walking my new path. I didn't expect to feel worse than when I was working and would push myself to work through the illness. I recognized that I need to adapt to my new reality and set my structure to achieve my goals. I'm a woman of structure after working in a very structured industry for so many years.
I like having all of my goals established to work toward achieving those goals. I'm a loud voice, and yes, I hear all of you out there laughing, and have always been proud that I owned my career; I didn't need anyone to hold it for me. Ah, but it was so easy to own my career when I was accountable to someone for my performance. What happens when you're only responsible for yourself? It's very easy to procrastinate when people don't depend on you for information. I had my "oh shit" moment yesterday when I realized I was letting my illness - that I'm over - still delay my progress. The thought came to my mind that I might have had a lazy moment. Gasp! Me? Anola, have a lazy moment? It couldn't be true; it must be a lie. Yes, I must have been abducted by aliens because I simply do not have lazy moments.
Having recognized that I was obviously a victim of alien abduction, I began to research how to prove to myself and everyone else that little silver men took me up to the mothership. You have to be very meticulous when gathering evidence to prove this type of assertion.
First, I checked with my family, and all claimed to have seen me every day without any gaps in time. Interesting, very interesting. They had clearly been brainwashed to forget my absence; there was no other explanation.
I did not have a memory of being doused in rum and left on a dirt road; however, the little silver men are clever and know that rum isn't my go-to drink. I must have explained that those who know me best would never believe I would allow myself to be dumped on a dirt road. So, they placed me back into my home to avoid any issue with a crazy Earthling woman.
Okay, okay, I can't prove that I was the victim of an alien kidnapping, but dammit, I do not have lazy moments. Oh Lord, I had a lazy moment and procrastinated, it's true, you've broken me.
I need to set goals and act as if I'm accountable and have a reputation to protect. It's more important than ever that I own my career because I really do own my career. My successes and failures are all mine; I can't share credit with anyone. It's a heavy thought, but I think I can bear the weight.
I mean, as long as I don't get abducted again...